Recently people have been constantly sending me clips of conversations being had all over social media about balance. Last year, I named an extension of my business Raising the B.A.R. In this sector, I facilitate workshops and retreats (some exciting new stuff being announced in 2020) teaching people how to use accountability and responsibility to create the life of balance that we all want. I expected people to start engaging me in this conversation about balance and the chatter about it being a false dichotomy because people always like to dispel your thinking patterns and prove you wrong. Additionally, people wanna see what you say in response to other people who have a different view from your own. I welcome it all. I believe there is beauty in differences and perspectives. While I understand what is being said about balance, I stand strong on using accountability and responsibility as vessels to creating a balanced life.

For most adults in general, it is safe to say that there will never be equal parts going into all areas of our lives at the same time. By definition, balance as a noun is “aneven distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady”. The verb tense is “to keep or put something in a steady position so that it does not fall”. So, going back to what an adult life looks like and knowing that there will never be an even distribution of our time, energy, focus, money, etc. it is safe to say that balance as a construct is out. This is where the conversation begins to shift into finding harmony instead. Coming to terms with and accepting that different times in our lives will require more of us in one place than in others and knowing how to deal with that, rationalize it, and make it fair for the people for our lives is embracing the harmony of not being equal.

My focus is not so much on life having equal parts of us. I like to focus on remaining upright and keeping a steady position. You can’t ever perfectly balance out being an entrepreneur, a student, a spouse, a parent, a friend etc. However, a responsible life in to which you are being held accountable, you are required to hold a steady position within. The balance is within your mind. It’s within your spirit, within your work ethic and allowing the shifts to take place. The balance is within your emotions and not allowing them to teeter too far off to the right or to the left. It’s being able to pull it back when it’s gone too far so that you’re not toppling over. Yes, life happens. It gets messy, it gets heavy and sometimes the bough does break and you lose your physical positioning.  Sometimes it happens and is even necessary for growth when you do veer too far to the left or right. But the balance is knowing how long to stay there. Knowing that you can’t stay there. Knowing that you won’t stay there. Good or bad. The balance is knowing that you gotta bring it back into position. After spending so much time getting your business off the ground, it’s knowing that you need a moment to rest. Or saying my family needs me, my marriage needs me. My children need me. I need me. After spending the holidays skipping workouts, overindulging in your favorite foods and drinking more than normal, it’s saying I need to sleep. I need to eat my vegetables, drink water and exercise more. That to me is the balance. Knowing when to bring it back. Knowing that it isn’t all going to be the same effort at the same time, but knowing how to make the shift. Knowing that it doesn’t all have to happen at the same time, but knowing that it all must happen. And implementing the shift so that it does. That’s balance.

Also, I’m a Libra. Balance is kinda our thing.


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